the masters

Having a puppy in the city is kind of like having a big neon sign over your head that says APPROACH ME AND SPEAK OF YOUR CRAZY IDEAS WHILE EXPOSING YOUR STRANGE CHARACTER FLAWS. And that goes double when you enter a pet care establishment.

We found this out the first time we set foot in a giant pet care place. We came to purchase more chewy things to distract Buster K with. Plus, since we had adopted him at such a place and recalled how lavished with human affection he was as we strolled out with him, we thought it would be a good place to socialize him a bit. Or just to beam proudly as he was admired for cuteness. Anything to distract us for half an hour from the constant pee mop ups and the relentless adage "No bites" as he persistently needled our hands like chew toys.

There we were, coddling him like a precious purse dog (so he wouldn't get weirdo diseases from the contaminated floors) when up strolled our first crazy idea sharing couple. They held their own lapdog with pride and proffered him to us. He was a trembling,fluffy white-haired creature who snarled as Buster K craned his neck desperately to lick him or either of his masters.

The masters obliged and lavished the praise as we had hoped and imagined it would be. Oh how cute. How sweet he is. How old? But then came the advice and it all took a turn for the weirder. "If he nibbles on you with his little puppy teeth that is okay because he is teething but he has to learn not to so just bite his ear. That's what his mother would do and its the only way he'll learn." The barrage went on for a while, covering many topics but ended most notably with a little soothsaying. "If the roof of your dog's mouth is black it is very intelligent. Our Teeny's mouth is black so she is very smart, right Teeny? Let's see..." the prying open of Buster K's mouth by the couple revealed a pinkish color and some surreptitious eye contact between them. Two folks can't have been married for 25 years without picking up a few skills such as psychically conveying a message with eye beamings: 'white lie, quick, save face.' they beamed each other.
"Oh yes, I saw some black in there. He's going to be very smart." the lady said. And the man master nodded vigorously and said 'smart' 2 or 3 times while stroking my puppies' noggin.